ADHD & The Matrix: Rewiring Your Reality

Discover how breaking through 'The ADHD Matrix' can transform you from a prisoner of negative thoughts into the architect of your own beautiful reality

Photo by JOSHUA COLEMAN on Unsplash

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read):

The ADHD brain can trap us in negative thought patterns that feel undeniably real - our own personal Matrix. Just as Neo learns "there is no spoon," we can recognize our thoughts aren't always reliable narrators of reality but predictions based on past experiences and negative bias. Dr. Jim Loehr's 4-step process offers an escape: write down your old story, craft a new one, rewrite it by hand daily, and record yourself speaking it. This neuroplasticity exercise helps rewire your brain, allowing you to see through the illusion and become the architect of your own reality rather than its prisoner.

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While visiting my parents for the weekend a while back, we decided to watch The Matrix—a cult classic that my family deemed unacceptable that I had never seen.

As the evening progressed, with just my sister and me still awake watching, we reached a pivotal scene that resonated deeply with me—though I couldn't explain why at first. Weeks later, during a Zoom call with my ADHD coach, the meaning suddenly crystallized.

The Matrix: a crash course

To back up, for those unfamiliar with The Matrix, here's a quick plot summary to help you follow along with today’s post:

Warning: movie spoilers ahead!

Neo (Keanu Reeves), a seemingly ordinary computer hacker, always felt that something about his world was off—like a splinter in his mind he couldn’t quite explain. His search for answers leads him to a shocking revelation: the reality he's always known is actually a sophisticated computer simulation—a virtual reality designed to keep humans unaware of their true existence. What he believed was real—his job, his home, even his own body—is nothing more than an elaborate illusion.

After choosing to wake up to this truth by taking the infamous "red pill," Neo begins training to navigate and manipulate the false reality around him.

It's during this training that he encounters a young boy holding a spoon, seemingly bending it with his mind. With an eerie calm, the boy offers Neo this sage advice:

"Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth"

"What truth?", Neo asks.

"There is no spoon," the young boy responds, referencing Neo's newfound awareness that he's living in an illusion.

The ADHD-induced depression spiral: the real Matrix?

These words would echo back to me weeks later, carrying a profound new meaning as I grappled with my own illusions that had taken hold of me in the days leading up to my scheduled coaching call. That week, my inner critic had been relentless; exhaustion and stress had triggered an old, familiar pattern. Like a skilled prosecutor building a case, my mind began methodically presenting evidence of my perceived shortcomings.

Sitting on my bed, staring at my Coach's pixelated face on the laptop screen, I tried to explain the fog that had enveloped me. It was like walking through a thick cloud where every step was weighted with self-doubt and where consuming negative narratives echoed endlessly.

"How have you gotten out of the fog before?", my Coach asked me.

I thought for a while.

"I was able to realize the truth, I guess..."

As we both let the weight of that statement settle in, I heard myself add, "…that there is no spoon."

When traditional thought-challenging falls short

While my coach tried to figure out what spoon I was talking about, my thoughts raced ahead. I explained how I'd always been told to challenge my thinking—years of cognitive-behavioural therapy homework from therapists, endless exercises identifying the flaws in my thinking. But as someone with inattentive-type ADHD, my attempts to challenge these thoughts were rarely successful. The ADHD brain is a master storyteller; my inner world is rich, complex, and deeply immersive. Trying to convince myself these thoughts weren't true felt like trying to convince myself that water isn't wet.

It wasn't until I started learning about the neuroscience of what is happening in the ADHD brain that I could truly consider the possibility my thoughts weren't reliable narrators—that they might be leading me somewhere detached from this reality into another one altogether.

Your brain: the ultimate prediction machine

There is a widely-accepted theory in neuroscience that the brain operates as a prediction machine. This concept suggests that rather than directly perceiving reality, the brain generates expectations based on prior experiences and filters incoming information through those expectations.

What this means is that, as Anaïs Nin famously observed, "we don't see things as they are; we see them as we are." When that ADHD-induced depression fog rolls in and tries to convince us the sky is falling, we must remember the truth: our brain isn't showing us reality—it's predicting it.

And those predictions are heavily shaped by past experiences, ingrained beliefs, and missing information (an ADHD diagnosis providing a neurological explanation to our struggles for one thing). And let's not forget—our ADHD brains, with their amplified negativity bias, are exceptional at further distorting these faulty predictions, filtering out any evidence that supports a different narrative (for instance, one that shows us in a more positive light).

"We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are" - Anaïs Nin

Breaking Through the ADHD Wound

The best part is this: seeing the Matrix for what it is transforms everything. Like Neo discovering his power to bend physics, we gain the ability to fundamentally reshape our reality. No longer prisoners of our distorted perceptions, we become architects of our experience. This isn't just positive thinking—it's neurological liberation. We can finally see past the illusion and co-create with our brains something profoundly truer and infinitely more beautiful.

‘How’ you ask?

Enter Dr. Jim Loehr, a world-renowned performance psychologist whose work with elite athletes has transformed how we understand mental conditioning. During an interview on The Knowledge Project Podcast, he delivered a statement that initially made me skeptical: "your inner voice creates your destiny."

I almost dismissed this as another platitude—my toxic positivity detector was on high alert. But as he methodically unpacked the neurological evidence behind his claim, something profound shifted in my understanding. The science was compelling: our internal dialogue doesn't just reflect our reality—it actively constructs it.

This revelation hit me with unexpected force: those of us with the 'ADHD Wound' (my term for the invisible scars left by years of undiagnosed and untreated ADHD) remain unconsciously bound to outdated narratives - trapped in a bleak trajectory—living out an old script written by minds that didn't yet understand themselves.

So now, for the million-dollar question: how do we change the course of these trajectories?

According to Dr. Loehr, a few simple habits can make a big difference:

The 4-Step Reality Rewrite

Step 1: Write down your old "ADHD wound" story (you know the one).

Reflecting on Dr. Loehr’s point that your inner voice creates your destiny, ask yourself what destiny is unfolding for you if you keep letting this story be the one you listen to.

Step 2: Craft your new story

One that supports a future you're genuinely excited about.

Step 3: Write down your new story regularly

Dr. Loehr emphasizes that the physical act of writing by hand creates stronger neural connections and memory imprints than typing, making the new narrative more likely to become embedded in your thought patterns. Additionally, handwriting has been proven more effective than mere visualization techniques because it combines motor skills with cognitive processing, creating what neuroscientists call a "multi-sensory encoding experience." This approach activates more areas of the brain than visualization alone, making the rewriting process a powerful tool for neuroplasticity and lasting change.

Step 4: Record yourself saying your new story and listen to it regularly

Listening to recordings of your own voice reciting your new story is recommended for several powerful neurological reasons:

• Multi-sensory reinforcement: Hearing your own voice creates another sensory pathway for learning. When combined with writing (Step 3), you're engaging multiple brain systems simultaneously.

• Subconscious absorption: Regularly listening to your own narrative allows your brain to internalize the new story even when you're not actively focusing on it.

• Emotional connection: Your own voice carries emotional resonance that generic recordings lack.

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PS. it actually works!

I'm happy to share that for the past couple of weeks I've been testing out Dr. Loehr’s advice and have found it to really be helping - I'm quicker to catch the old thoughts and have even found myself having a thought aligned to my new story without consciously directing my mind there (thank you, neuroplasticity!).

If you decide to give this exercise a shot, let me know how it goes for you :)

PPS. is it too far that I'm seriously considering getting a spoon tattoo'd somewhere on my body? A tiny reminder that when my thoughts try to bend my reality into something it's not, I can pause and remember:

there is no spoon.